If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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