Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize