For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
