We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
