don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
