All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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