Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
