Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize