as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
