it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
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Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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