also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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