You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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