Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
