Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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