The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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