He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
