so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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