Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
