Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm

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(301): I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm http://tfl.nu/sws3

Replies (4) Good night (757) Bad night (871)
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(216): View more from Ohio

bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away

(440): View more from Ohio

isn't bella the cat???

(216): View more from Ohio

that she is

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(216): bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away (440): isn't bella the cat??? (216): that she is http://tfl.nu/l83t

Replies (9) Good night (3090) Bad night (1232)
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(773): View more from Illinois

is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?

(773): View more from Illinois

it's more of a rinse.

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(773): is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar? (773): it's more of a rinse. http://tfl.nu/la1k

Replies (66) Good night (1574) Bad night (2628)
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(407): View more from Florida

I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"

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(407): I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt" http://tfl.nu/48bw

Replies (14) Good night (3364) Bad night (996)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?

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(740): Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/5skf

Replies (17) Good night (5095) Bad night (813)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?

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(708): Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight? http://tfl.nu/wnvq

Replies (38) Good night (17760) Bad night (2258)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.

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(414): Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after. http://tfl.nu/9oxv

Replies (41) Good night (1381) Bad night (7719)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

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(203): well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father" http://tfl.nu/5bjg

Replies (20) Good night (1309) Bad night (5761)
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(281): View more from Texas

I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on

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(281): I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on http://tfl.nu/3rfp

Replies (13) Good night (4517) Bad night (855)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.

(856): View more from New Jersey

Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits

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(856): 12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong. (856): Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits http://tfl.nu/ncaq

Replies (19) Good night (5352) Bad night (1004)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.

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(203): Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being. http://tfl.nu/247a

Replies (13) Good night (3795) Bad night (1483)
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(614): View more from Ohio

The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.

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(614): The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN. http://tfl.nu/jkdc

Replies (15) Good night (1718) Bad night (692)
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(614): View more from Ohio

We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here

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(614): We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here http://tfl.nu/ha0m

Replies (6) Good night (1474) Bad night (594)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

This is why I married you.

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(479): The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning. (479): Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight? (1-479): This is why I married you. http://tfl.nu/g5es

Replies (4) Good night (2877) Bad night (636)
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(616): View more from Michigan

in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.

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(616): in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral. http://tfl.nu/e47f

Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (349)

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