The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.