her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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