I didn't shave. On purpose
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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