Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
