respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
