just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
