this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
