Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My ATM looks so different sober.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize