thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize