I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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