its not stalking. its research.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
