I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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