yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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