I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
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My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
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It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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