This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
