YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
