Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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