Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
