Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize