it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dear god my vagina.
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