i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
