just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
