I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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