oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
