Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
