and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
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This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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