made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Congratulations! We have a period
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