sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
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That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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