I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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