I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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