I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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