Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
