he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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