Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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