K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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