I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if only i could text you this smell
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
