clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
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How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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