everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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