erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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