**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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