i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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